Everything

I am not even going to lie..My everything hurts right now.I bet you're wondering what I mean by that..I mean EVERYTHING.Head to Toe..Inside and out..Achy.I am literally sick.I miss Phil so much my bones ache.
I talked w/the Atty.Earlier..I have been telling him for 8 weeks almost that we would have him paid..and I have..but I have only given him not even 1/3 of what we owe.He told me that we have not much time w/Phil not being indicted yet(Praise God)& with his court date in August fast approaching..He would have to withdraw if I can't come up with the money and he would hate to do that.I am so hurt.I feel like I am letting my husband,and my kids down..and I feel like the promice I made to bring him home is fast becoming a lie.It sickens me that those liars can sit there and smoke their drugs and laugh and have fun..while my husband is in jail because they wanted $800 and to ruin a business' name..They instead have ruined many lives..including his-and his name on top of all that.While they can go and play victim to the "black dude"..This man is incarcerated,away from us.How selfish of them.
I know I promiced that I would post his "sermonettes"..but I had to come on here and explain why I have not been here.I am,for the lack of words..Depressed.I have been Twittering,Facebooking,and Myspacing positivity,happiness,joy and laughter..but inside..I am in a corner,sobbing and holding my kids..clutching a picture of me and Phil from happier times.

All we need now....
So,I went 2 days ago and applied for a loan..and all I need is a cosigner.In these days and times..so many people get hoodwinked and in trouble doing that..Its like asking someone would you like to be poked with a needle 50 times a day for 40 years.Of course,everyone is giving the usual "If I could,I would..but I can't and I'm so sorry" Speech the past 2 days..and It tears a small piece of me everytime I hear it.Right now as I type..I am about to cry and my chest is aching.I feel so,so bad.Why can't I help him? Why can't I even get online and raise money for him? What am I doing wrong that I can't even draw 700 people to donate 5 bucks..or however I need to do/ask? LORD,HELP US..WE NEED A MIRACLE. I pray that the jailer could walk right in there and set him free,and all this could be ripped up and like a bad dream..God can do it..but I can't.I pray that whomever reads this would feel compelled to donate something..anything.I have taken every dollar I have gotten straight to the Atty..and I even had a friend or 2 tell me..people want to know the entire story,etc.If they donate..and they want to donate something more than $5.I told them..Call my home phone.I can tell them what they need to know..right now as we speak.I can give them the atty's website,to prove he is a real person.I can do a lot of things..but right now..I am more disappointed in people who claim to love him..and people who said they were going to help..Like the Pastor friend of ours who said it was in Overseas funds and he can't get ahold to it because of customs.What a lie! He said he would donate the entire thing(3500)to us..instead..I have waited and called him for 8 weeks..he either cuts the phone off,lies,or says he will get one of his church members to do it.I am over here appalled.I can't talk about the man because I can judge no one.But he should have not lied to me..and gotten my hopes up..and even called the atty and told this man he was coming..4 weeks ago.I am up to my neck with lies,with people judging the situation,and people judging what was written in the local paper.No one offered to put the REST of the story in the paper..about the bribery,the lies,and all THEIR business..NO..they wanted to put our full address,his whole name,and all our info in there..which leaves me up half the night trying to protect my babies from some crazy person busting in on us.
A Favor
I would like to ask each and every one of you..to please pray for us..we are going through some of everything right now.My cousin,age 21 was killed in a robbery and burned in a car last week in GA..she just had a baby too.My friend from school and from my old job back home..her mother died today..and her mom was extremely cool and I was very fond of her.The landlord decided she couldn't wait til the end of the month for 90 dollars for a late fee..(I was late one day!!)so now she says I broke the lease..therefore we have to move asap..with no help whatsoever.Truck payment is behind(we have a 87 S-10..Phil got money from it so we could move in this house..our deposit for lights was 610.00 and we needed 300 more..so he sacrificed his vehicle)and there is just so,so much going on.Family wise,I am alone w/the kids..everyone else is too busy being all for themselves to pray with me..to come talk to me..to call and say hello and actually mean it.As for my side of the family,they are too busy being self absorbed to call me without being negative,fussing,or treating the situation like it is going to go badly and I will be alone forever.So..When I get the few phone calls a week and my one visit with Phil..It keeps me going..God,the kids and Phil=all I have.It tears me up to know how many people I have cried with,helped,been on IM til forever with..All the people I have done for and been there for through their situations,while my husband was watching TV and the kids were asleep..Time I cant get back-but Im alone now..and where are they..?
Please help..
I hate asking for anything..I really do.I just am running out of options and time..and I can't break my promice to my husband or to God that I will make things right and help him prove his innocence.If you have it to give..could you PLEASE donate..$5 (or more if you have it..please) to the Attorney fees...Right now..I wish I had credit so I could get the loan on my own..Or I wish I had a way to get the money on my own..but I CAN'T.I even went as far to fill out for numerous payday loans to try to get the money.I tried my best.I did everything I could..but I have absolutely no other option other than trying again at fundraising online.I am going to try my best at doing it here..and on twitter..and whatever way I can without getting on anyone's nerves.If you choose,you may even email me and ask me questions if needed.I will be more than happy to answer any questions you may have and to provide you needed info for you to decide to donate anything more than a few dollars.The Email to contact me is: http://aprayingwifey@gmail.com.
I will do anything to save him from going to jail for no reason at all.I know for a fact that the things he's being charged with are false and a lot of others do as well.I am not only saying this as his wife-but I am saying this as his best friend and his other half.
I KNOW Phil.We have been together for 5 yrs..married for 3.Phil has a huge,giving and caring heart..and he is a wonderful man who loves God.If you could call those inmates he is in there with and ask them..They would tell you about "Preacher".Phil has helped many inmates in the 2 months he has been there (almost 2) to better their lives..to become saved..to realize that marriage is not a bad thing and to give it a try.Phil has even made it to Trusty status.He cleans and washes dishes..and he also gets to have visits with us on the weekend for a few hours.Before it was 15 minuites for whomever came..behind a big metal wall,with a plexiglass scratched up screen and a little speaker..and now,thank God..he can hold me and the kids.We can hug..we can kiss.We can hold hands.The little things we did everyday..and the little things sometimes we were too tired to do more than once a day..now are treasured moments on the weekend.I can finally see his gorgeous face..his pretty smile..feel his heartbeat.I can smell his soap on his skin..rub his face..You just don't know how priceless that is to me.
I still cry when I see the "Fallen for you" At and T commercial..because that's "our commercial"..I always told him I didn't think I could handle it if we were apart like that.Lo and behold..It's happening right now.I am holding my own..but I am weak at heart and I am weak at body right now.I can barely pack,sometimes here lately even type..because of my arthritis and because I am just TIRED.When..not if but when..my baby comes home..I just want to go school shopping for the girls..take the kids to the park..barbecue and be with family..to cuddle and catch him up on TV that he missed.I just want things to be NORMAL again..I want my Everything to be better.

Well..I am off to go figure out what to do next..
If you would like..a friend and I made youtube videos about this situation with Phil..Email me for the link If you want to check them out.
God bless you all and have a good night..If you found my link through Twitter or something..please let me know you checked out the blog.
Much love..
As always..
Until tomorrow,
~*A Praying Wifey*~

Optimistic

When I was young,There was a Gospel group called Sounds of Blackness..And they had this song called "Optimistic".Throughout my life,that song had more meaning than I would ever know..Enduring so much pain,death,heartache,abuse from my ex husband,and other horrible,tragic things that happened-That song would pop in my head when I would be sobbing uncontrollably about whatever situation I would be facing at that time.
Fast forward about 15 yrs. The song is still one of my favorites..and something I listen to often.It brings me hope and peace,and knowing God's word says clearly what man is denying..not only to me but Phil as well. "You can win..as long as you keep..your head to the sky..be optimistic".When I hear my family-or even some of his family saying negative things about the situation-I hold on to the Optimism and the Word that God has given me thru this situation.I refuse to let this situation get the best of me.Or of Phil.We will be together soon.
I get where people are being negative,because he has a past before he got saved and before he really grew up-where he took the rap instead of snitching on friends,and got himself a record.I will not lie and say he was completely innocent in both cases,because he wasn't.He was around them and he was not 100% at fault either way as well.But now that all this is going on,they are being HUGELY negative.As well as on yet another social network,where I received a Direct message saying I seemed like a scammer and needed to give details,etc.
WELL....SOME people are not all there in the world..I cant just put EXTRA personal info like that out there unless it is beneficial to the defense fund..because addresses,etc are in there and I cant just give that info to ANYONE..you know?
I am online for a reason.I need to help my husband in any and every way I can.I pray for him,I have people pray with me for him.People locally are donating,but jobs are so scarce in this tiny place many cant.He has friends who buy waverunners,Hummers,etc. And own businesses,but I have not heard from any of them at all.
This situation is a mess.Phil walked in someone's house that he was uncomfortable around previously..because they had repaired appliances before there and he didn't like being there...
(I mean-honestly-If I was on probation and had changed my life,and there is a house full of people smoking various drugs,and with their minor daughter as well..and I was not in my vehicle; but with the boss, I would be trying to hurry and get out of there too.)and he was steadily being offered a hit of this and a hit of that..and telling these people over and over again-I am on papers,I am a Christian God fearing man,I dont do all that..
He puts a new hose on a washer,tells them about a broken gun his cousin has for sale for a friend and ends up being on the bad side of a bribe..
Then friday(the next day)these horrible people are calling the boss' son over and over again telling him they need their money back for the appliances AND they wanted to keep them TOO and if they DIDNT get what they wanted by the end of the day..they would call the cops on the "Black dude that knew about the gun on probation"...?????? And then...2 days later,the police come and get my husband..??? That cant EVEN be made up..My husband is a victim and My kids and I and even his parents are suffering..But scammer-I will never ever be or have been.
I chose to remain optimistic even through what this person said in the message,and have still been getting love from friends on there who want to help spread the word.
Some times I wonder how things would of went,if Phil wasnt "the black dude on probation"..and instead had been of another race..or even had been the boss' son.I wonder how things would of went,if the Police actually were doing their job 100%..would these people still be driving around,free as a bird,smoking crack,marijuana,and whatever else with their underage daughter(I know she is underage,because when I was questioned about the gun,they said one of the witnesses was 15)...Knowing full well when they called the police TWO DAYS LATER..they would have to give a statement..it was well rehearsed actually when everyone was together..but when seperated...they all were telling completely different and conflicting stories-so much so that the investigator gave them til monday to say it was a mistake,and they misunderstood the entire situation-but instead,they thought they could make a KILLING by victimizing themselves..by selling and using drugs in front of their CHILD and the other 7 people in the house that didn't even say a word about any of this(just the husband,wife and daughter)..and since the heat is all on "black dude"...they can look like the poor,poor people who live in the country and manufacture and sell all types of drugs AND use them as well..All because they lied on my husband.
But,Optimism has kept him going as well.He is STILL preaching in there.He is STILL writing daily bible verses with mini sermonettes.He actually is getting baptized for the 2nd time today as well.I wish to God I could come and see it but I cant..Visitation was Sat. I am so very very proud of Phil,and WHEN,not IF he comes home within the next few days or weeks..I want him to see this and KNOW of all the struggles,prayers,tears and love I have had for and about him.I know he knows how I stay awake,insomnia kicking me in the head,as I try and try to figure out what to do next,to make the rest of this money for the atty.
I will not let Satan continue to take this situation and make me depressed,or make me even think that he isnt coming home soon-because he is.Phil may not be perfect..but he is GOD's Son..He is MY soulmate and husband,best friend and life partner..and He is the father to my children.I pray that God continues optimism in all of us and in everyone involved..and I pray today is the day he comes home.
Sorry about his sermonettes not being posted yet..I have been fundraising out and about and all..They will be posted soon.
God bless and have a wonderful week..
Until next time-
~* A Praying Wifey *~

Together..

*Note:I just wanted to say..before I get started with today's blog..THANK YOU to those who have been viewing the blog and donating..Every little bit counts and we thank GOD for you helping us.I am sure that you will be blessed for helping.I put a thermometer on here so everyone can see how close we have gotten to the goal.
A Challenging few Days...
The past few days have been..well..Challenging.I spoke with my lovely Mother in law..who told me that a member of the family surf's the net daily and saw where I have been getting prayer,etc.I was confused as to why anyone would be surfing the net for what I am doing,especially to help my husband to get his defense fund paid AND as well to be getting prayer.This is a tough situation.I have been without sleep and without a LOT dealing with this.I am trying to be nice as possible to the naysayers,who want to tell me its "impossible"for him to come home after these allegations,and that "we need to be real"about everything.WHAT? I AM being real..Last time I checked..All things ARE POSSIBLE with God.I am ignoring the negative,and surrounding myself in prayer,in thanksgiving,and in submersing myself into how I can get help for getting the word out about his story..as well as help to get this fundraiser kicked off a bit more.I cannot believe how much prayer,how many well-wishes and thoughts we HAVE gotten since I came online with his story.It actually is MORE than what he has gotten in reality.I wont let him listen to all that..or myself.He will be here..sooner than anyone will even expect.My God is a BIG God.
Update on Phil..Day 28..
I went to visit him yesterday..and it seems it is actually getting easier,even though that was my 4th visit to see him..which marks 4 weeks so far.I miss him terribly and pray for him numerous times daily..as well as other family and friends are too.Our kids love to talk to him when he calls.He dosen't get to call much,because the phone in there will only let you call so many times a day within so many hours of each other..usually the most calls I recieve have been about 5 in one day.I don't prefer them to see him behind that tiny piece of thick,grimy glass..talking to him behind that tiny speaker and metal wall.They would break down..which would lead ME to break down..And that wouldnt be good for anyone involved.I wish they would let us hold hands..I miss that so much.He was in good spirits,as usual.He has sent me some sermonettes to put on here for him,since when he comes home this will be his blog.I plan on putting them on here tomorrow and tuesday,instead of my own blogs..and updating everyone on how things are going. He really has grown a lot in all areas with being there this long.I pray that he will be home in time to see the girls head off to school their first day,with N heading to the 2nd school(the school she will be attending is 2-4th grade..but since they are building another school,I assume she will be going to this school maybe til 4th,and she will be at the new one for 4th grade.)and G heading to Pre-K 2nd yr. I know he will be home,no doubt in my mind. As for the case and where it is going,there are lots of people who have read the story and also read in the local paper about it,and do not believe a word of it.They know he is innocent as well as he knows,and God knows.He is still preaching and speaking,and doing his little "daily journals" in there,passing them around for the guys to read about God and how good He is..even in a time he should be mad and wanting revenge for taking 28 days of his life away..he is rejoicing and praising in advance for what's to come-which is his freedom and him finally getting to become what God's will says.

The Fundraiser..Week 3
The Fundraiser is still going..We have had a small amount of donations,but any donation at all is a blessing and goes toward his Defense fund.I have spoken with the lawyer,and he had some news for me,which was that the PO was trying to hold off on him going for Revocation Court...but since the Defense has not been officially hired..She is trying to get him a court date which will be within the next 3 or so weeks for Revoking.I was shocked to hear this news,and sort of devestated.I really wanted to help him..and since I cant do it on my own nor the family..I have been trying to fundraise.We will be holding a plate sale next Thursday and Friday..and I am hoping that will be the tail end of what we owe him*crossing fingers* so he can get to working on his innocence and getting him HOME. We still like about 4900 but it will be okay.God will provide and He has not forgotten.I pray that people's hearts will be touched and that this fundraiser will be finished this week.*Praising God in advance* We all would like him home to spend time with us next weekend..but only God knows..His will be done.I have been prophecied to by a few people in this situation,and they all have said that things look promicing,and to make sure Phil knows that he needs to rid himself of all things worldly..and people..and that he WILL be coming home-soon.I do not care who I will lose in the process of spiritual clean-up of my life,and he has already told me as well he didn't care who or what he loses either-long as he has God,me and our family we made together..and our families..he is fine.And so am I.I just pray that whomever reads this..SPREADS THE WORD..PRAYS..and hopefully and prayerfully DONATES..This fundraiser means a lot to me.I know it will not be the last one that I will be having.We have big things planned-I know for sure I pray that God leads us to help others..in this type situation as well as other situations we have came out of by the grace of God..and I will do all I can to help.I know..we have been through a LOT of stuff,both before we found each other and AFTER.We have had our fair share of tragedy,triumph,pain,happiness,and joy and everything between.But I know one thing is for sure-We did ALL those things..together.
I can't wait to see what happens next in the next chapter of our life together when he walks out of those jail doors a free man here soon.I am NOT afraid of what God has to offer us.Its much better than what the flesh,the world and man has to offer.I am not afraid of public speaking anymore(lifelong terror of mine)..I am not afraid of anything.I defeat the devil EVERY DAY of my LIFE.I will not be afraid to take a journey of my husband eventually becoming a Pastor like his father..I will do this with him..Together.Together..we will make it.As we always have..
Until tomorrow-
~*A praying Wifey*~

Time is of the Essence...but WE have the VICTORY in JESUS!

Image by ckaiserca via Flickr

Hello..Sorry I haven't been here..I have been working non stop to try to raise money for this atty fees..So far..75 dollars..now all we need is 925 more donations of $5..or even more if someone feels they are blessed enough to do so.

Yesterday I got some disturbing news from Phil.He was awakened,then told to go to court.He went to court and got his court date..and he still hasnt been told of when the probation revocation hearing is.I am disgusted and saddened that those people that lied on him are all over town trying to get money and trying to get pity on a LIE that they told on a man who actually is one who would be TRYING TO STOP someone from attempting to rob a person..NOT DOING IT.It is amazing at the responces and the prayers we have gotten-and the support..It may not show by followers here-but it shows on the myspace(Operation Justice)and it shows via people on other networks I can talk on freely without rumors abounding and getting exaggerated.God knows that this man DID NOT DO what they said.And I know from reading this entire blog..that you all do too. I believe with all my heart that THE VICTORY IS WON..we just have to be patient and wait.Phil isnt even scared.I think my heart fell in the floor when he said he may have to go to the PR court next thurs.All I could think of was..How am I going to do this? Lord,how can I help my husband? Oh no,Lord..Please,no!!! But then all I could think of was this as well:God has done MIRACULOUS and AMAZING things-for our family AND for Phil as well.When he changed his life 2 yrs ago..things got good for us.The devil however had other plans-but we ALWAYS managed to get him OUT OF OUR LIVES.I am not afraid.I just would like for people to know this.

Time is of the essence.I am not a person who begs for money,nor a person who would scam.But My husband and his life=important to me. I would like so,so much for people to see how kind hearted my husband is.He even calls me to call people's wives and mothers if they dont have house phones,to make sure that glasses get there to read the Bible studies he plans for inmates.This is a man who helps people get their families the message to come see them @ visitation-but make sure to bring the kids,too.He shares his tiny amounts of food.He helps in any way he can.More importantly-he tries to get them to give their souls to the Lord.I wish that people would just automatically want to give to help this man come home to us..to help pay his lawyer.But I know I can't do this.My husband is a man who gives food out of our cabinets,out of our fridge when people need it.He gives gas money,prayers,and love freely.He is the man who cuts acres of yards for people who dont have a lot to give for 20 bucks-enough for more gas and things around the house.My husband is a man who teaches drums to kids so they can use their gifts for God in church.My husband is fantastic.When my arthritis acts up..or my allergies to where I am tired and cant do much-he makes me lie down and takes care of the kids,the house and me.He gives his last dime to help others.He is wonderful..his life shouldnt be taken away..at 26 years old..just because some drug addicts couldnt get their way with a couple of people and get the money they promiced their dealer to get a weekend's worth of their poison.My husband is not a crook.He has made mistakes in the past,from listening to friends who told him selling weed could help him while he was in college-on scholarship no less for football and academics..and it backfired on him. Phil is NOT a criminal.He is a lover,a prayerful man,a Godly man,a family man,a husband and a good friend.Phil is amazing.I thank God that he put him in my life.He is the kindest man I have ever known outside of my family..and he is always a helper.Not a person who would get into it with a person AFTER working on their washer hose,putting it on for them just to make sure it worked before he went home..Not a person who is what they claimed in their 3 different stories.

Here is what they said..and what actually happened..so you get the story.

What they said:They called the cops 2 days later because they were "scared".Phil came to put a hose on the washer,and him and the lady got into it(she never said why).Phil goes to his truck and comes back with a gun.Phil comes back in the house after being let in.Phil sticks gun in lady's side and says gimme all your money.Phil says Im just kidding and leaves.

THAT IS NOT TRUE.IF THEY WERE GOING TO LIE-THEY SHOULD OF HAD A BETTER ONE THAN THAT!

What happened:Phil calls me.Phil is going to put a hose on this family's washer because their old one dosent work anymore and they just bought appliances from his friend he is helping.they are smoking dope.Phil is trying to hurry up and go because he is paranoid,he dosent want to be there if they get busted in.There are 10 people in there,most are in the back room smoking and the rest are in front with them.He tells them(not smart of him to do but he was trying to help)about his friend and his cousin who are selling a gun that is broken and cant be used,to carry on a conversation.He gets ready to go,and the high teenage daughter is asking where she can buy some weed cause her guy is out.He tells her and her folks he is not involved in this life anymore he is on papers..and he has to go,the lakers game is on and he had dinner to get home to.

The people call Boss' son K 3 times on the next day.K is frustrated and mad and Phil tries to get K to give his brother a fridge that cant be fixed for scrap to help his brother.His cousin and a friend and the boss are there,K yells at Phil and waves a sledgehammer at him and Phil walks to the truck w/ his fam in it..while K tells him it aint leaving and cusses him out.Phil yells back that he is on papers and he aint trying to get into it with him.he just wants to help J(boss)and go home.Someone passing by sees this and calls the police who are down the street.Everyone outside tells them about what happens and Phil tells them fine-he will not even ask to give the fridge to his brother,and he is about to go work on some stuff with J. K and Phil make up and K tells Phil and the fam what these people are up to-they want their money back AND want to keep the appliances.They still work but they need it back ASAP.K thinks they are kidding and brushes it off. Everyone is cool and makes up and goes home.

Sat. morning,the cops come to our house.We are in bed.They ask him about getting into it with K and he tells them about it.They said they got a call they didnt believe but still had to question him about it.They tell me he is coming home but he doesnt.He calls me 5 hours later telling me they were bullying him and pressuring him and he cant come home.

Monday comes and he dosent get charged w/a crime til 4pm.He has been there over 72 hours.His own PO has no idea why he was even held under investigation.They told her he was there,and what did they want to do with him.She said hold him until I find out what is going on.She tells me and his parents she is shocked..she cant even believe a model person would be in jail like him..he has been great since 2 yrs ago.She herself did not have a idea as to why he was there.All of the law inforcement we spoke with..told us themselves the story was not believable.But they were going to get his cousin if he didnt bring the gun(which phil didnt even have)to the jail..and charge him with having it if he didnt bring it.so he came all the way to our town just to bring it.They charged my husband with Attempted armed robbery and felony possesion of a weapon even though phil did not have it.Because he was bullied for hours into saying he had access to it.the husband and wife and daughter came to the jail and told one story.But when seperated to write their statements.. THREE different stories came up.None were persistant..except that he was there.And mentioned the gun.And supposedly had it..when the gun was 45 mins away..how could he have had it???

It is a crying shame that our men have been put to this level..a person of another race can say anything,anything at all..and lie..and the young black man,can get thrown away in a jail cell.I know no one is free of sin,we all are not perfect.But when someone is innocent..It is NOT FAIR to take them from their families because you want restitution,you want pity and free money to shoot up,smoke up and drink and drug up til their check comes on the first. My family and his loved ones have to suffer mentally and emotionally because people think they are going to get a free ride on the pity bus and get their bills paid and get restitution and get all kinds of victim publicity..while my kids dont sleep at night crying for daddy..and I cant sleep either from trying to get justice and get a lawyer paid.Why do we have to suffer? If they wanted 800 dollars to kill their lives slowly..why couldnt they find another way other than trying to get him 35 years in prison?This is a mess.But God will help us..and I pray that whomever is reading this..will too.

Until tomorrow..

Father's Day..Day 22

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Today is Father's Day...and it feels different.The past 4 Father's Days..Phil was lying beside me and before he could even wake up good..I always would tell him Thank you for being the best father figure for my oldest daughter in her daddy's absence..and thank you for giving me 2 little blessings on top of taking care 150% of one that came with the package when you got with me.

I feel a little numb..but I know through it all,Jesus is there every step of the way,holding me and comforting me..taking care of me..And in revival friday night..it came to me. Phil's cousin's wife shot up out of her seat and ran to me.She said for me to do a lap for victory around the church,because she felt God telling her the victory has been won and Phil wont be there long.This was my 2nd time doing that..and my 2nd time ever to give praise like that.I remember telling God thank you for the victory and just like that..Praise mode entered.I came to a while later,exhausted,out of breath,shaking and feeling SOOOOO overwhelmingly good..Something I haven't felt in about 20 plus days,since the last time I was held by my love before going to sleep.It was a very ironic moment..as I just had felt like collapsing on the floor and crying for my husband not even 5 minuites before she did that.I had taken Baby J outside to get him something to drink out of the fellowship hall..when I saw it.The thing that made my night sad all over again.I saw..his truck.His dad has been driving it the past 3 weeks he has been gone.I about lost it.I touched it as if it was his coffin and tried to hold back the tears..as Baby J was trying to wriggle and get in it(the passenger window,broken by me a few months ago while helping him pick up a mower..was down..and Baby J and his sister always sat in there with Daddy as he did things outside when he got home from work.).I had to hold myself together with my heart in the pit of my stomach so I could get back in church and not miss anymore than I had to.

EVERYONE felt the victory for Phil.There was probably maybe 6 people NOT thanking Jesus or Praising or shouting,and those were the kids 15 and under.Everyone else was feeling it.And that made me feel a LOT better.It didnt matter that my radiator had FINALLY gotten here earlier in the day..and I couldnt get anyone to put it in because everyone was at church getting ready...It didnt matter that Phil wasnt there..for the first time in weeks..I was sure..He will be there within the next couple of weeks,and nothing or no one is stopping him.Because GOD IS IN CONTROL and He has already given him favor in that area..and I thank Him for it.

On Saturday..when I was planning to come and make the blog..I felt a bit down because there is one follower.I didn't even want to see how the fundraising was going,because people who claimed to be his friends..only one,and that is a older one at that,stepped up and actually helped us.The only people we have had..is JESUS.. all of our Prayer warriors,Prayer partners, and our families.(I am so very thankful to you if you are reading this!)I decided to bust my hump and get to work manually on getting donations so I can pay the remaining balance of the Defense fund Monday.Then..my other blessing happened.The car finally got fixed and we got blessed in more than one way.I was SO happy..I AM so happy.I finally got to talk to Phil..

He was in a wonderful mood when I went to see him.He was at the table talking to some other men who are in the cell with him.What hit me though..when I got there,I saw a old friend whose boyfriend is in there too.I told another lady of how Phil is praising and pastoring and fulfilling his purpose..and the old friend and her boyfriend's mom were like-is THAT the one who is preaching in here?He told us about him! I was honored to be the man with a positive attitude who is FINALLY not running from his calling's wife. I told Phil and he was grinning like I brought him a huge meal or something.The guy next to him in the visitor window told me as well Phil is encouraging and everything.The Admin there @ the jail..said the same thing.She talked of how sweet and mannerable and encouraging and positive he is.I told her this was my last weekend coming to the jail because he will be home next weekend and I am speaking it into existance.She said a positive attitude always helps and she believes it too. Phil was excited about the blog..first time he really ever has been excited about me being online doing anything..and was praying that he gets donations.I am leaving that part to God..He did MAJOR things for us this weekend..I am sure that tomorrow when the Defense team gets back from Lunch,I will be walking in there with the money that he owes them and they will be working all week on his case.Because even they know that he is innocent beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I wonder in the back of my head for the others who are involved..do they even know he is a father?I wonder if they know he has us,a family,wishing they hadn't figured out they would cash in on a man who once was lost but now is found..I wonder if they know this man is in there having to think of his children missing out on him being home for Father's day.I wonder if they want to take their lie back.But it is too late.My husband is covered in the BLOOD of HIS FATHER and rest assured,he will be in my arms safely..asap.They have already gotten their 15 minuites of fame,blaming this poor soul of a crime his huge heart could have NEVER committed.Oh yeah-I forgot.They said he said he was kidding and walked out the door.Yeah,that sounds real true.

This Father's Day..I will think of him while I go to see my Dad..and Go visit my Granddaddy's grave.I will think of him every second of every minuite,like I always do,since he has been gone.I thought of him a lot when he was home,or gone helping people,or just not at home..but I will think extra hard of him as I celebrate the end of the revival with his family and friends at church at the picnic they are having..I will think of him while I listen to our songs heading to my hometown for a little while..I will think of him while I pass through the little town on the way home to Mama's that he got one of his first tickets at for going 5 miles over the speeding limit.

I will think of him as I pray for his miracle release..and as I think of how good it will feel to walk in with my head held high,Praising God for the breakthrough and the blessing that got me to that office tomorrow to meet w/the attorneys..and I will think of him as I pray for the next chapter that will begin in our lives when he comes home-the chapter of a man accepting his calling and recieving his destiny,to follow his father and godfather's footsteps as a wonderful pastor.

Please keep us and especially Phillip in your prayers..and thank you to all who already are or have helped in that way or any way.

Until tomorrow...

~*A Praying Wifey*~

I miss him soo much..Day 19

When I look at our daughter..I see him.And when she talks,smiles,or does something annoying..I see him..Everywhere I look in the house..I still see his stuff..and I don't want to move it.I think he is going to come in,any second now..and move it himself,after I say something to him about it..of course,after I look into his eyes and give him a kiss and ask him how did things go today.

I talked to him a little bit ago..before I gave Lil Mini Phil-the girl version-her bath.He is in the works for a youth and young adult movement at church,and working on the name,details,etc.He just knows he wants to do this on every Thurs.night and have a speaker/guest who was once where they are now..in clubs,in the streets,riding around,excuse after excuse as to why they aren't saved or in church somewhere on Wednesdays or Sundays.He is still happy..other than our radiator..on it's way to the store,fell out(Yes..I said FELL OUT)of the UPS truck with everything else that was scheduled to be dropped off by that driver today..and BROKE..as well as the person behind him had a accident due to all the things flying off and hit them.I can't believe this..I was crying and hysterical..I got to thinking about the fundraiser not going too well on the first day...my husband is locked up..my car is not fixed yet..But luckily,he calmed me down with his soothing voice;and assured me things would be fine.Thank God for at&t..or else THAT wouldn't of been possible.I felt a little better.I didn't even want to go to Revival tonight..because I felt down and out.My statuses on FB and Myspace..They had the little sad blue face.I was that upset.The radiator's fall to it's sudden demise..Brought a flood of sadness,and depression for a little while.I cried for about a hour..and I prayed out loud..I asked God WHY...Why can I not even raise a few thousand dollars for my husband..WHY can't I get a radiator NEXT DAY SHIPPING..like anyone else??Why is my husband gone?Why is something happening EVERYDAY??Why,Lord! Why???

But a message from Phil,who called about 2 hours after the Radiator Meltdown..Hit me.

He said:"When you are a Child of God..You go through all sorts of bad,all kinds of pain.Because that's what He went through.Then when all that is over..the blessings will be flowing like rain!Calm down."

Image by Mindful One via Flickr

That got me to REALLY thinking.After all,I spoke with the attorney,C.;and that was after I thought for a little while as to what he would say when I said I may not have the rest of what I owe him and the defense team.C said that no court dates..for the Probation Revocation OR the Grand Jury for the other stuff had been set yet.But you never know..so I had a couple more days to get things together.I was sooooooooooooooooo happy to hear that! A relief,at least for one thing,was taken off my shoulders.I thanked God in my mind for this,and went BACK to Operation Justice and went to work.I thought about how hard times are,and I knew in my mind that GOD IS GOING TO BLESS. God will put it in hearts and minds to help.God will give it to someone..to give back to someone else.I wondered in a tiny thought in the very back of my head..Do people think this is some crazy scam.I know people from here who saw the story,or that have social networking in our local area,know what happened..I am going to post the newspaper article when I can figure out a way to block our address,when he comes home.Because it actually HELPS to show the ABSURD LIE told on my Future Pastor husband :)

The devil IS a liar..I am going to get this defense fund,some how..and I am going to have my husband home by the end of the month..I am going to speak it into existence and I hope yall pray that miracle upon him in the mighty name of Jesus!

Well..I just got in from Revival..and I wish yall could of been there! N. really preached.It was beautiful..because everything she said coincided with what I have been speaking and talking and thinking,with and about Phil..and other people.God is going to give us favor..and I know,I just have the FEELING..that I am NOT going to have to miss him,at least for this long,ever again.I know he will have things he will have to do in the church with his father,the Pastor,and I can't be there..But,I would rather miss him for a short while and be able to text/call him on his cell while he is away..and be waiting on him..than to keep going to bed lonely,to keep feeling this void in my life physically,emotionally and mentally.God has me covered on all those things;but you know what I speak of when the man/woman God has blessed you with is suddenly,without warning,taken away.Whether it be by tragedy or something like this,even;it is still a loss..a profound one..and I miss him more and more each day.

I pray that you will spread the word about what you read here..and about his story..because I dont ever want to hear of someone else going thru what we are.I know it happens every day..when someone gets taken away and incarcerated over a FLAT OUT LIE but its alright.Im going to tell you like I tell myself everyday..and like others tell me.Jesus will fix it.

Until tomorrow..as always-

A praying wifey

Stepping out on Faith..Day 18-The Fundraiser;"1000".

Image by WolfS♡ul via Flickr

It's already been 18 days with him there..time is going by fast some days..slow other days.I spoke with Phil today..He is still in very good spirits..he has read 3 books so far while being in there..One of which he has previously read(Prayer of Jabez..mutually our favorite book!)

I missed 3 of his calls earlier by taking Mother Dearest her car back..since my radiator is completely broken and out of the car..we are w/o a way to get around until the new one gets here..which has already been taken care of weeks ago,but just on back order.Sometimes I wish Pontiac wasn't phasing out..because it will be tougher for us to get parts..even though the car isn't but 9 yrs old.I told him while talking with him it would be here tomorrow(as I have been for the past 2 weeks..lol)and he was pretty happy.

He also has been praying extremely hard for the miracle we need to get him home.I told him about all the things we are doing on the outside(Prayer Requests,Starting a online fundraiser,a Myspace page(add us-Operation Justice as the username),I also have been keeping his loved ones and friends updated via his FB page(I told him I was uncomfortable doing it and then put a status up that I wouldn't be updating from there anymore..then ended up doing it because he wanted people to come here..so I was being the doting wife doing what he wanted..)and doing whatever I can to get his story out..and hopefully get TONS of prayer and well wishes and whatever God lays on someone's heart to say or do..As one of our friends said earlier..she was blessing us and she believes totally in it being returned by God for blessing someone else.I actually feel a little embarrassed by doing a fundraiser..but since I barely know anyone here in this state,much less this town..plus his family has been very busy with Youth Revival this week..I decided to pray and step out on faith and go with the first idea that came to my mind after talking with my Father.

The idea:1000 people..5 dollars..2 days. I don't even know if I know 1000 people.But just think..if 10 people individually....told a group of 10 more people,etc..you get the drift.And if that happened a few times..that would be a LOT of prayers and a LOT of blessings..but more than that..we would be able to pay the attorney what we owe him..Even more than that..I would give him EVERYTHING,even if it came out to more than what we expected..just to have my husband home for Father's day..that would be the best thing ever right now.That,and winning the lottery..Which I can't do,since I don't have a dime..and I am a Child of the King.Can't do that!! That was one of the 1st things my MIL told me when I became born again.."No more of that lottery-playing mess for ya'll!"Phil and I weren't even caring..because we became blessed beyond measure after we gave our lives to God and were not backsliding anymore.I have to admit..those quick $20 and $100 here and there when we scratched WERE easy..but I couldn't keep mine long,nor could he.We always went right back and bought more.All I know is this.No matter how I keep changing the subject,or how much I blog or MS or FB..the thought in my mind constantly aside from God..is "Lord,I HAVE to get his attorney paid ASAP for my baby to prove his innocence..What can I do today as his wife and other half to get this done?I have no credit..cause it is SHOT..I have no co-signer..cause every one that said they would has worse credit than mine..or excellent credit and is lying everyday saying they will but dosen't and they don't answer my calls and ignore me..OR is too selfish to help..OR just CANT.Lord,please PLEASE help me..My babies miss their daddy..I miss my baby..and his family and friends miss him too!"That is ALWAYS on my mind.So much,in fact..that I get about 4 hours of sleep every night because I am either thinking,praying,praying in the prayer journal,or trying to come up with ideas.

So..all of you out there..even though you haven't followed yet..either because you don't have a acct. here or because you don't do this type of thing..or better yet..You came here because you heard about his story..or saw it..or you know us..

PLEASE do Phil this one favor.Not even me.Phil..our babies who want their daddy home..our church who wants their Future Pastor home..His parents,who want their Baby Son home..Our Family and friends,who want him home..PLEASE..Open your heart and your mind..and clear your thoughts.Pray for him and pray hard.Pray for the MIRACLE that will BREAKTHROUGH and get him HOME for Father's day.Also pray on whatever else God wills you to do.Will it be to simply spread the word amongst everyone...or to pray daily for him...or even to donate?I would only want you to be one of the 1000 to give 5 dollars if God has told you to.More or less,even.But all I ask is please..TRY to find it in your heart..help Phil find 1000 people to give 5 dollars..or whatever they wish.Long as I can walk in that Attorney's office in a couple of days,with my head held high,thanking God that this attorney is going to get my husband's innocence proven and he will be home;to be awaken with breakfast in bed and Bible Study with our Marriage Bible on Sunday morning,surrounded by 2 kids in diapers,and 1 excited,hyper 7 1/2 yr old girl who made her daddy a drawing for Father's day and Welcome home at the same time. Long as my father in law can experience joy and a swelled heart,seeing his youngest son and 5th of 6 children walk in that church praising the walls off,along with me and his mother..Long as Phil is free to do those things and not be there on Father's day,eating horrible food,wishing and thinking of us,and crying on the other end of the phone with me,as I cry because this is his first Father's Day in 5 yrs he hasn't been home..I will be okay as well as he will.

**Be one of the 1000..please,Donate..and/or Pray..Hopefully and Prayerfully both.**

I leave you tonight,with a verse from the scripture I am about to read before trying to sleep...Psalm 103:6."The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed."

Thank you for taking the time to come by..and may you have a blessed night.Please,leave well wishes,prayers for Phil in the comments when you come by.And if you find it in your heart to be one of those who donates,please either add us on Myspace..or Twitter us on @justice4Phil..or leave a comment.If you do and wish not to be known..we will pray for you regardless.

God bless you all..and until tomorrow...Sweet and blessed Dreams!

Myspace: Look for name Operation Justice

Twitter:@justice4Phil

Day 17..Fasting and Isaiah 54:17

Image via Wikipedia

"No weapon formed against you shall prosper"..Isaiah 54:17

As I sit here and read the Bible..I think of Phil and how he is doing tonight..He tried to call earlier but I missed it by one ring.I was devastated,of course..That is my time with him and his time with me..since we have to visit on Saturdays with the big metal door between us.

I think of the people that lied on him..for a quick buck..for sympathy..to keep the public(and quite possibly,police)eye off them for being who and what they are..and I wonder if they know..this man has a family..had been doing so,so well in Church and life in general..and here they go with their "If I can't get the money outta the boss..We can get more getting Restitution for saying this chump robbed us!"Way of thinking.Then..It dawns on me.Instead of wishing these people BAD for what they have done to my family..I will think of Isaiah 54:17 and keep on praying..for them,for Phil..for everyone.

Today,I fasted the entire day until 3.I was so dizzy and tired that I could barely hold my head up.But it felt GOOD.I am connecting with God..and He with me.I want Him to know my relationship with Him is extra important..Especially in this day and age..and especially right now as my children ask where their daddy is every 5 min..or when I have to tell Phil's mom that I am still working tirelessly to bring her baby home..I realize that he is not only my best friend,my husband,my baby daddy,my love,my soulmate..but as well he is her baby son..one of the 6 kids that were prayed for in her womb when she was told she couldnt have any.I realize he is a friend and mentor to many and yet,I am lucky even though he is where he is..to have him.In my fast..my focus is for the miracle for him to come home and be freed from all this mess.But as I fast,I am learning too.I cant wait for the day he steps in this house and starts writing on here himself..

Until tomorrow..

~*A Praying Wifey*~

Praising in advance..Day 16

We are on day 16 with him being incarcerated..and it has been 16 days of tears,wishes,hopes and prayers.Right now,it is raining cats and dogs..This is the weather that we loved being in together..It means me lying on his chest..as we watch tv together and argue about what is on.
God does things for a reason..and together,we both have agreed that some of those reasons have been for good.Like..his family and I have grown much closer(no more feeling like the black sheep daughter in law..),my family and I have grown closer as well(even though they seem to be a little on the negative side of the situation),and Phil is growing as a man of God in ways neither of us could have imagined.All this from a lie.What the devil meant for bad..God turned it around for everyone's good.
That's not saying that he,or us for that matter,wants him to be there,just for spiritual and mental growth..!! I would LOVE it if he was knocking at the door right now..but,it isn't so until God says so.I am praying that day will come before the end of the month.
Phil is in very good spirits..his new nickname in there is Preacher.He has been reading "Prayer of Jabez"(my fave book beside the Bible,hands down!)and speaking to the guys in there about being Saved and God.He also has been working on reading the Bible and studying Scripture,emphasis on Miracles and Prayer and everything.He wants everyone to know he thanks you for being here and God bless you,and to please tell everyone you know about this blog.It will be a great help to others once he gets out and gets to posting as well.
Until tomorrow..(I have 2 fighting babies to deal with right now..:) )

~About this blog..and it's main vision~

Since he's been gone..

I lie awake thinking of what would be
If he was at home with me,and our little family
All I can do right now is pray
That God blesses us with a miracle and very soon
Phil will be home to stay.
I wish with all my heart and all my soul
That I could rewind time and have him home
But that just isn't meant to be
Lord,Please send my baby home to me.
I miss his touch,his smile,him lying on my lap
I miss when he comes in from work,and little Jay greets him with a clap
I miss him holding me when I am drifting off to slumber
And Since he's been gone..all I can do is wonder.
God,Prayer and hope are all my babies and I cling to
As he sits behind cold steel and concrete walls awaiting news
I try my hardest,day after day
To pray for ways
For these lawyer fees to be paid
For us to make it,day by day
For God to give me the strength to go on
As I look at our picture on the wall
I am praising God in advance for a miracle to come today
That someone's kind heart would help us in some way
I thank God ahead of time for the money that's to come
For me to go pay this attorney for Phil to get him home
My God is a good God,with Him,Justice always prevails
Especially in times like these with people and their lies and their tales
I will never understand why greed took over those people's hearts and minds
But for them I will continue to pray even though my husband,my soulmate
is stuck in the middle of their bind
I do not hate them,for they,like me have a soul that needs to go to heaven someday
And it will be with God..not here,that they will have to pay.
-A Praying Wifey
6/15/09
2:45am